he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
