Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
