Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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