thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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