he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Terrible idea I love it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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