Im at strip club and am horny
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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