I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
