Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize