I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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