walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
