you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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