Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
