tell your sister to shave her snatch
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
