I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
