Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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