You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
