I faked an abortion last night.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
