I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
