party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
