what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
