That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it because I queefed?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
