I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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