New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think a kid would responsible me up
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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