My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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