i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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