hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think my moral compass just broke
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize