I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
