I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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