What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
