Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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