I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
