Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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