god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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