It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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