we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
