He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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