The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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