Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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