found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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