Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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