I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My vagina just clenched in fear
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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