so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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