Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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