also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
