i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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