so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
And then he peed in my hair
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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