I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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