You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
