Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
