whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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