looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
