your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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