I can text with my tongue
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
