after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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