Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
