Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
