PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
