You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
