it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
