Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
