dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
